Category: Transformation

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Be A Brilliant Human

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This blog now continues as a podcast: "Be A Brilliant Human" available on multiple platforms with show notes at www.BeABrilliantHuman.com. With Episodes coming out every week on a Tuesday, covering topics that relate to your healing journey, relationship issues awakening and beyond, I think you'll love this podcast!

So hop on over and I'll see you there!

Where To Listen:

Apple | Spotify | Google | YouTube | PocketCasts | Breaker | Radio Public | Overcast | Anchor

Episodes You Might Like

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Unforgivable: 3 Untrue Stories That Prevent Forgiveness

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PART 1 of 2

“It’s unforgivable!”

Can you feel the pain in that declaration?

There’s a lot of societal and cultural support for the idea of ‘unforgivable’ and yet I have seen how much ongoing pain a lack of forgiveness can bring.

The problem is, there’s confusion about what it really means to forgive.

In this two part article I want to help clear up that confusion, share some insight into the process of forgiveness and encourage you to take another look at those things you’ve filed under ‘unforgivable’

In part 1, we’ll look at the 3 main stories we tell ourselves that may be preventing you from forgiving and keeping you locked in a cycle of pain.

And in part 2, I will be sharing Meredith’s story. Meredith was able to forgive what she describes as:

“Specific trauma that had precipitated much of my life experience… including sexual abuse by nuclear family members, multiple attempted murders at the hands of those family members, and worse, complete hatred for who I was and a loss of spiritual connection”

It’s an inspirational story of transcendence and freedom which paints a picture of what’s possible, even in the most horrific of circumstances.

But first let me reassure you that the perspectives I’m offering you come on the back of a LOT of experience…

It’s Been My Privilege

For many years I have specialised in working with people who had experienced sexual or physical abuse of some kind and, as you can imagine, I have worked with people who have suffered from some of the darkest of human experiences.

Forgiveness had seemed like a pipe dream to many of them, often in spite of many years of self development and healing. But it has been my privilege to guide them to the self-release and life transforming freedom of the forgiveness they thought they could never find.

More than anything I’ve see how people go down the painful road of defining their life by the things they have not forgiven. I’ve seen how this lays down walls of limitation which leave them feeling trapped, alone, powerless, afraid and depressed.

When they finally empower themselves and forgive, there’s a background shift in how they experience themselves and life. It’s so profound it is hard to put into words, but it changes everything and brings a LOT of deep and unbridled smiles.

•  M  Y  T  H    B  U  S  T  I  N  G  •

Part 1: 3 Untrue Stories That Prevent Forgiveness

So, let’s bust some myths…

There’s an old saying: “Not forgiving someone is like drinking poison and expected them to die”

The idea that by not forgiving, we somehow impact the other person is at the heart of the myths that prevent moving forward. It’s a disempowering position that requires some hard but healing truths to shift.

The story we tell ourselves when we don’t forgive is usually one, or a combination, of:

MYTH 1: ‘That will show them’

This is a passive aggressive strategy which hopes that they will focus on your lack of forgiveness, take it as punishment and feel bad. They rarely do, but if the strategy is successful then you are both colluding in a very toxic dynamic.

MYTH 2: ’They don’t deserve my forgiveness’

This is a justification for holding on to pain. It’s a more introverted, projection based story which again comes from the illusion that your lack of forgiveness impacts another. It’s an attempt to reclaim some sense of power, but actually results in the opposite.

MYTH 3: ’Forgiving them somehow makes their behaviour OK’

Forgiveness has nothing to do with condoning their behaviour and everything to do with letting go within the self. So, not forgiving is only denying yourself your freedom from the past. This is so highly trained into our cultural psyche it can be tricky to untangle. But when the realisation comes, it can be the key to the cage.

Not forgiving someone is like drinking poison and expected them to die

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Forgiveness Is An Inside Job

Forgiveness is very much an inside job, and an act of self-love which can free up a lot of energy, light and joy.

Generally what it takes to reach forgiveness is the acknowledgement of the pain and hurt plus reaching some sense of being heard and understood. This can be done with the person you need to forgive, and when (as if often the case) that isn’t possible, it can be done within the self. Professional support can be really critical here, to get right to the core of it and fully release.

I’ve also found there’s a much more direct route:

When you deeply realise that their ‘unforgivable’ behaviour is not personal, forgiveness is automatic. And of course, that’s the genius of The NPA Process, especially when working with someone who is experienced and skilled at spotting the right cookie cutters (or key expressions) which allow the process to be laser focussed.

When you deeply realise that their ‘unforgivable’ behaviour is not personal, forgiveness is automatic

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Given my history of working deeply with the emotions and ‘unforgivable’ situations, it was a surprise to me when I developed The NPA Process that profound forgiveness would often come along as a natural side effect, and even quicker than the methods I had used before.

Of course there are times when working with the feelings, the history and engaging in forgiveness focused dialogue are necessary and can’t be circumnavigated. So in my practice, a combination is always available.

I’ve not yet come across a situation that is truly unforgivable. Many are truly horrific and could never be condoned… but, with the right work and support, forgiveness IS possible.

The NPA Process: A Direct Route To Forgiveness…

NPA Basic Training - Start Here“This video programme will walk you step by step through the core training of The NPA Process and give you what you need to get started making a difference in your life right away with NPA.”

CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO

When Someone Isn’t Forgiving You

I wanted to briefly mention this side of the equation, and here’s my perspective:

Someone’s forgiveness of you (or not) is their business.

If you can forgive them for not forgiving you, then you are taking care of all that you can.

Of course, if the situation merits it (and they are willing) then an open hearted conversation may help them… one where you truly and fully hear and understand their perspective, you can empathise with their pain and genuinely apologise for anything that you feel you need to… and even so, in the end, it is for them to forgive.

Whatever you are holding ‘unforgiven’ is poisoning you and holding you back from fulfilling your potential

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What Do You Need To Forgive?

Whether it’s an experience of abuse, or something you judge as painful but less traumatic, like infidelity, betrayal by a friend, something said that you found deeply hurtful… whatever you are holding ‘unforgiven’ is poisoning you and holding you back from fulfilling your potential.

There is a way out.
There is hope.

And whether it’s with me, on your own or with someone else who has expertise in this area, I strongly encourage you to take another look at anything you have filed under ‘unforgivable’.

Get 1:1 support with Joel…

Kazy-Vincent Janes, a client from the UK said:

“A brilliant session and just perfect – thank you for amazing ability to hone and tune and hold and guide so superbly and uniquely for me”

CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO

 

Be sure to check out Meredith’s transformational story of forgiveness in Part 2

If this article raises any questions for you, please feel free to let me know in the comments. Your shares are also very much appreciated.

Jx

[JY-General-Bio]

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Forgiving The Unforgivable: A True Story

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PART 2 of 2

She forgave the unforgivable.

And found self-love.

In part 1 of this 2 part article we looked at the myths that block us from forgiveness. Check it out If you haven’t yet read it.

Here I wanted to share Meredith’s story of forgiveness.

Meredith worked with me over several months and after 13 years of therapy, finally found a way to forgive and heal the emotional, mental and physical pain; the legacy of a history of childhood sexual and physical abuse by family members.

These are acts that most people would deem unforgivable, but through her ability to forgive the ‘unforgivable’, Meredith was able to set herself free.

My wish is that her story inspires you, and shows you the possibility and benefit of finally forgiving your ‘unforgivables’

This is the story of her healing journey over those months with me, in her own words…

Part 2: Forgiving The Unforgivable
Meredith’s Story In Her Own Words

_____
And I think it’s gonna be a long, long time
Till touch down brings me ‘round again to find
I’m not the man they think I am at home
Elton John and Bernie Taupin
_____

Meredith Linden

Meredith Linden, Editor, Hawaii

At one point, I knew it would be a long, long time before I could blast off on my way back to myself.

I’m happy to say I’ve made it.

Sitting in my current state of being, I can now look back and appreciate the travels I’ve made, particularly in the last eight months.

I first reached out to Joel Young to stop being hit upside the head with my own trauma stories.

A year prior to meeting him, I had remembered specific trauma that had precipitated much of my life experiences to that point, including sexual abuse by nuclear family members, multiple attempted murders at the hands of those family members, and worse, complete hatred for who I was and a loss of spiritual connection.

Nothing In The External World Could Bring Me Peace

I had been in therapy for over 13 years, had overcome bipolar disorder and being medicated, and made huge life changes including owning my sexuality and moving to an island miles from anyone except my wife.

I had been able to make great needed external changes in my life, but the internal dialogues (or monologues as the case often was) and physical pain continued. Nothing in the external world could bring me peace to any real degree.

I worked with Joel on multiple levels, not just NPA. His story of overcoming the effects of abuse and his ability to be happy inspired me.

In Journey sessions, we revisited the past through portals in my body that were new to me. I learned how to hear what my body remembered as well as how to hold the memories for more information and release of pain. These sessions also allowed me to build a trusting relationship with Joel.

I moved on to six sessions of NPA and while we both thought I might go through them in fewer than six months, it ended up taking eight. It was a clear indication of my slowing down and my deeper work.

I learned how much I took everything personally and how much that was my greatest problem

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Through NPA with Joel, I learned how much I took everything personally and how much that was my greatest problem. I was identifying with everything from my trauma story to my own disinclinations.

If I had never liked this or that before, it will always be true.

The Biggest Gift

The biggest gift NPA offered me was to open myself to any possibility, including experiencing change just for the experience.

With endless possibilities at my fingertips, I could hone in on the one thing I’d searched for the last 50 years, to know myself.

The most important aspect of working with Joel was the fluidity and inherent wisdom with which he approached each session.

He never seemed to come with an agenda and though the first sessions were slotted for Journey work and the last six for NPA, he always allowed us to move however the energy guided us; there were times we used no specific tool.

His complete acceptance of my process, whatever it was, was so empowering, offering me the amazing opportunity to free myself of the “how,” focus on the “what,” and accept myself on ever deeper levels.

Joel’s language in matters of the soul, analogies, and humour added to our connection and my ultimate ability to construct more appropriate stories of myself and my life. I can now celebrate my journey by being; it is exactly what I wanted when I first talked to Joel.

What Mountain?

When Joel recently mentioned the mountain he watched me climb, I had the inclination to say, “what mountain?” From where I am, it no longer FEELS like it was a mountain. There is a lightness and fluidity to me and to my life now.

I worked through what I needed to work through but the most important take-aways are self-love, a desire to continue to unearth my spirit and purpose, a deep spiritual connection all my own, and an inherent ability to be present in any given moment and move from a place of listening deeply to life.

Meredith Linden,
Editor, Hawaii

Get 1:1 support with Joel…

Kazy-Vincent Janes, a client from the UK said:

“A brilliant session and just perfect – thank you for your amazing ability to hone and tune and hold and guide so superbly and uniquely for me”

CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO

 

If Meredith’s story has affected you, raised questions or moved you, please do get in touch via the comments or through social media.

Your shares are also welcomed, as this article may well help someone else end a lifetime of suffering.

Jx

[JY-General-Bio]

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Finding An Endless Inner Light

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findinganendlessinnerlight

You know that feeling where something is just gnawing at your guts?

That feeling that won’t take spiritual niceties for an answer?

The kind of feeling that won’t settle for pseudo peace, or half-arsed happiness?

Well that discomfort, my friend, is an inner gift you’ve been nurturing, and it’s grown too big for your belly.

In this post I want to share how NPA helped me listen to that gnawing, let go of a lifetime of invalidation and find a genuine connection to an endless inner light.

I also want to offer you TWO powerful exercises to help you connect more with your core.

So, let’s get to the guts of it…

A Gnawing In My Guts

Almost a month had passed since the police had intervened in the harassment case and I was pretty sure the episode was over. All seemed quiet on the Ex front, and still…

I was aware that the defamatory posts were still out there in the public domain and I’d remained silent. Every time someone in the know would ask me if I felt clear and glad it was over, I would hear myself tell them “yes”… but the word, in my ears, was hollow.

In late September, my colleagues from The Inner Journey Clinic and I had our regular Skype chat. We meet for supervision and mutual support, so I took it to them to explore what the heck was still here with me.

At first it was suggested that I look at it through the eyes of radical self-responsibility. “How had I hurt her in an equivalent way?”

I really looked, but couldn’t find it. I could acknowledge that maybe indirectly there were rubbish things I’d done in the past with different people, or perhaps to her in previous lives..?

Big Fat No

But, to be honest, it really didn’t resonate, and I was getting a big inner red flag. Of course I checked myself to make sure it wasn’t just resistance… it wasn’t.

Something much deeper and truer was simply saying no.

All spiritual, self-help & therapeutic concepts have a context where they are relevant & times when they are not

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When wise people you respect, with the kindest of intentions, say rationale things that you know generally have a truth to them… it can be a challenge to disagree. But I knew that all spiritual, self-help and therapeutic concepts have a context where they are relevant, and times when they are not. So I held a strong boundary.

But something they said did hit a chord.

“You might want to look at the victim energy Joel”

Ouch!

That’s always gonna be a tough one to hear… The last thing that victim energy wants is to be, is called out… But, as I said in my post about the willingness to be an inconvenience, healing and awakening often start only when you acknowledge some ugly truths about yourself.

This time the ‘red flag’ was really a resistant ‘ouch’ and when I got truly honest with myself there was some truth to it.

I put it in my energetic escrow to look that one in the eye…

Finnish Angel

The very next day I had a pre-arrange catch up with my great Finnish friend, and certified NPA Teacher, Marja Koivisto.

She’s a great facilitator and has always had a knack for pinning me on my stuff.

She noticed my energy and physiology immediately… I was kind of crumpled over the table and pretty low.

“What’s going on Joel?” she asked, in her lyrical Scandinavian accent and a tone that clearly meant (to use the NPA vernacular) “Spew Mr Young!”

Just in case you don’t know, a ‘spew’ in NPA terms is an invitation to just let your mouth run on a subject. The NPA facilitator meanwhile listens for the key words or phrases that have an ‘animation’ about them and can then be used in The NPA Process.

I spewed…

At first I went through the yada yada of the updates on the case, but then I found myself describing an old memory:

I’m about 6 years old, in the car with my Mum, Aunt, sisters and cousins. It’s mid-summer and we’re setting off for a camping trip.

I’m the youngest, and my cousin Micky is the oldest. He’s being horrible to me, as usual. Teasing with a nasty edge.

I appeal to my Mum and my sisters, but no-one sticks up for me. They treat me like I’m being over-sensitive… and then I burst into tears.

Micky delights in this opportunity to mock me further. He mimics my wails and goads me: “Sing Joel, sing!” and, to my shock, it seemed like everyone laughed along!

Distraught and desperate I plead through my tears to my mother:
“He’s being horrible! Make him stop!”

“Oh c’mob” says my Mum, “He’s not that bad”

 

Shut Down

My experience is completely invalidated… Negated… I simply shut down.

As I continued to spew, I realised how this experience had completely killed my ability to acknowledge genuine mistreatment of me. It also became obvious that this experience was reflected in much of the abuse I’d experience through my life, including the latest online abuse from my Ex.

The energy was still alive in me. This time as: “She’s not that bad”

With my Ex in mind, Marja lead me through The NPA Process using that phrase.

A LOT of emotion,
a LOT of physical shaking,
and a LOT of energy release ensued…

As the waves died down, the inner validation and acknowledgement found its voice, and I spoke the words:

“She IS that f*&#ing bad”

Marja encouraged me to NPA that phrase as well, and I felt it link back not only to my recent Ex, but beyond… Back to the many other situations that I had made “Not that bad”… the domestic abuser, the sexual abuser and, of course, my teasing cousin.

Something Deep Inside Cracked Open

It was as if I could finally acknowledge my experience.

I was WILLING to experience it.

Something deep inside cracked open.

With my direct experience being honoured, validated and expressed, it was healed

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With my direct experience being honoured, validated and expressed, it was healed. Any victim energy that had been hanging out in that space just kind of resolved itself. It left.

And what I experienced next was profound…

I described it to Marja as best I could,

“It’s an energy… a feeling… a distinct presence… It’s like one of those quantum power generators, that once switched on provides power for eternity, simply by tapping into the quantum field. It feels like an eternally running engine inside my belly”

I was having a visceral experience of something I’d heard about so many times but had never truly connected to personally:

“My cup runneth over”

I’d so often heard this talked about in terms of love. “Love yourself first, fill up your cup with love” etc etc.

Word Magic
(A little heads up for the exercise to come)

word magicOne of the things I love most about NPA, is that it’s great for going beyond generalised words and terms.

You know the sort which sound good but don’t truly connect?

Words are magical, and each word we use activates neural pathways in our brain, firing off signals, sparking chemical reactions and influencing feelings, thought streams and physiology.

A common and misleading simplification, is the idea that each word has a distinct meaning that we all share

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A common and misleading simplification, is the idea that each word has a distinct meaning that we all share. While superficially this may be true… underneath the surface, we all have unique responses to each word we hear.

Each word activates our huge database of experience of the word. Which sections of that data surface is influenced by the context and the emotional tone. The possible variations in any given moment are mind-bogglingly huge.

A dog is a dog, but the dog you picture and the experience you have when reading that word is almost certainly very different to mine. It will be influenced by where you are (or have recently been), your current emotional state, any direct impactful experiences you’ve had with a dog and so much more…

• Language was born as an expression of the energy.
• Generalised agreed labels, which point to an experience or thing and enables us to conveniently relate and communicate.
• Then we started believing that the words were the thing.
• So now, most of the time, we impose language on our experience.
• And connection gets lost in translation.

 

‘My cup runneth over’ is an example of this for me. The words point to an experience. Those words worked for someone. Maybe they work for lots of people. Not for me.
The words don’t elicit the experience… there’s no magic in them.

But what if we allow our words, once more, to arise as expressions of the energy?

There’s an NPA technique I call an ‘Energy Read’ which does exactly that and Marja spotted that this was a beautiful time to use it…

The language… the fully connected label… the ’name’ which popped out of me for this experience was “Self Sustaining Aggression”.

It may seem like an odd, or unspiritual word, but to me it was perfect.

For me, it embodies a power source which could run all my boundary keeping, my willingness to be an inconvenience, my courage to face the uglier truths…

AND… to take care of myself, stand up in ways I hadn’t before, independent of any external source.

The words pointed to an endless inner light.

And just to reassure any spiritual sensitivities…

Aggression in this context is like the aggression a bloom requires to crack open the bud, the aggression that water expresses to carve through rock, the aggression a wolf unabashedly expression to feed and protect her cubs…

It’s a force of nature…. it’s alive in me now… and it’s made all the difference.

2 Powerful Exercises To Get You More Connected To Your Core…

I share these experiences with you, not to be cheered on or applauded or even to simply entertain… I share them with you to let you know that if you’re on this path you’re not alone, and by my experience I can help guide you on YOUR journey.

With that in mind I have a map in the form of some tasks I’m going to encourage you to do. Because if you want to actually find your endless inner light and not just massage the grey matter, then roll your sleeves up and have a crack at these exercises…

Exercise 1: Healing Invalidation/Denial
(resolving any related victim energies).

This exercise will help you un-block shut down that has occurred from invalidation.

Ask yourself:

• Are you muting how you really feel?
• Are you denying the severity of a painful experience… current or in the past?
• Were you ever told that things “weren’t that bad” or “are not as bad as you make out” or “to make lemonade from lemons” in some form? (and it didn’t feel good)

 

While these sentiments have their place, if at the time, it just didn’t ring true for you, it’s time to get real and acknowledge your own experience.

It’s time to get real and acknowledge your own experience

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  1. Let yourself Spew about a specific time where you experienced this.
    You can do it on paper or as a voice recording, and be open to whatever aspect of the experience you naturally want to spew about
  2. Listen for the animated key-word cookie cutters.
  3. NPA the cookie cutter(s) and see where it takes you.

It may be that this exercise simply provides a powerful clearing for you – which would be fantastic – right!?

And there could be more…

Learn How You Can Make Rapid Positive Shifts…

NPA Basic Training - Start Here“This video programme will walk you step by step through the core training of The NPA Process and give you what you need to get started making a difference in your life right away with NPA.”

CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO

 

Exercise 2: Finding Your Natural Expression

It’s very possible that what comes out of exercise 1 is a connection to some powerful core energy. A fully connected label or name for the experience might be right there – in which case, please let it be that simple.

However, if there seems to be no words for the experience, or the standard words that might describe it don’t quite resonate for you, then you can use this exercise to really nail it…

The key here is to let go of the standard words (if you have them) and fall into the direct experience.
Then allow words to arise which naturally connect you to the direct experience.
When you have them, the bridge between your inner and outer expression will be established.

Here’s the steps:

  1. Get viscerally in touch with the experience of the core energy… the feeling, the energy, the physical sensation etc.
  2. If some words had come which didn’t quite do it for you, let go of them completely and allow yourself to fall into your direct experience.
  3. In any case, slip into a space of wonder…Say out loud “If there were words to describe this experience, I wonder what my they might be?“It is not something you can go searching for with you mind or any expectation… Just let the answer bubble up naturally… let the word(s) find you…For example, yesterday, what arose for a client to describe her direct experience was “Inner Waterfall of Sparkling Energy” It was right in her core, and truly connecting with it released her from a life long painful survival mechanism.
  4. When YOUR words arrive, again get viscerally in touch with the experience…Feel the words and how they connect you strongly to the feeling. Give yourself some time with the experience and notice what happens. You may experience some release, realisations, feelings or an opening.Big and bold, or subtle and simple… no matter, trust your own experience and the process.
  5. You can come back to these words repeatedly to access the experience.
  6. You can also try running it through The NPA Process.

I’d love to hear what you experience from these exercises in the comments.

I hope this article inspires you to heal the invalidation in your life and start honouring your direct experience.

I also hope you can see how NPA can help you with that, as at its very core NPA is about finding words and expressions that are TRULY connected to your experience.

It’s because of that connectedness that such a seemingly simple set of words has such a profound impact for those that choose to use it to the fullest.

Exercises are great, but if you really want to bring anything into your life and embody it, it takes practice over time. This is very true of non-personal awareness.

Practice over time leads to mastery, and mastery leads to effortless magical expression. The NPA Process, NPA Advanced Techniques and Non-Personal Philosophies bring a tremendous fluidity into your life and train you to live a life authentically connected to what truly matters to you.

Learn How You Can Make Rapid Positive Shifts…

NPA Basic Training - Start Here“This video programme will walk you step by step through the core training of The NPA Process and give you what you need to get started making a difference in your life right away with NPA.”

CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO

If you haven’t already, I highly recommend you get the NPA: Basic Training online video course. It will definitely help you make the most of the exercises I’ve given you here, but more importantly bring a powerful transformational energy into your life (even if you’ve done a lot of work on yourself already) and get you on the path to mastering a life that reflects what truly matters to you.

Love & Blessings

Joel x

[JY-General-Bio]

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Strong Boundaries & Self Love

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strong-boundaries-self-love

This has been the toughest post I’ve ever had to write.

It seems I came here this life time to deal with and heal various forms of abuse.

Sexual abuse when I was 7.

Domestic violence in my 30’s.

And this year, public and private attack via social media.

This year I reached my “NO MORE!”

Crippled By Civility

In the first two cases I had been crippled by civility, reasonableness and a general unwillingness to admit to myself the hideousness of the behaviour of the perpetrator. So I wasn’t free ‘in the moment’ to stand up for myself, say no and get help.

With sexual abuse there is an incredibly confusing mix of pain and pleasure… after all, the physical pleasure centres are being stimulated even as there is terror and pain. But that pleasure brings shame and causes you to doubt yourself at the deepest level and keep it quiet. Anyone who has experienced this understands.

With domestic abuse, when you are a man, there’s a particular confusion… The story goes: “You’re a man, she’s a woman… it’s different when a woman hits a man, you’re stronger… so what’s your problem? Be a man about it!…” (You might be surprised to know that I heard this from women more than men at the time). And the inner response to that goes: “If you complain, perhaps you’re weak, perhaps you’re not really a man” Again, pulling deep on a fundamental identity, causing you to doubt yourself and keep it quiet.

And now with social media abuse, well… you know the line: “It’s just not very civilised, mature, spiritual or enlightened to make any public mention of it… It just gets into public battles, fuels gossip, makes YOU look petty… so better hold the higher ground and say nothing”… which is kinda like “Grin and bear it little boy” or “Be a man”…

Silence Protects The Perpetrator

If unchallenged and kept in the dark, abuses remain in shadow. We have seen it recently in the UK with many TV personalities who committed child abuse for years, finally brought to task. But the ‘civilised’ brush under the carpet approach had kept their behaviour alive for years.

Unchallenged, untruths and slanders broadcast on social media… Those poisonous thoughts, plausibly presented, that stick in people’s minds and influence their perspective… tend to remain and DO have an impact. It’s abusive, plain and simple.

There’s a strange and damaging phenomenon that commonly occurs in abuse cases: By heeding the advice and succumbing to the pressure to ‘not make a fuss’ and ‘keep quiet’, the person on the receiving end, ends up actually protecting the perpetrator by their silence.

Holding strong boundaries is a HUGE act of self love

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For me, one of the biggest lessons throughout, and especially this year, has been that holding strong boundaries is a HUGE act of self love…

In the interests of ‘not keeping quiet’, I’m going to share a little of what happened this year and how I ‘held my boundary’.

But first, I want to address the damaging civility, especially as I have seen it show up in the spiritual and personal growth realms, that may prevent you from holding strong boundaries at times… So let’s take a clear look at boundaries:

Boundaries

“The river needs a boundary to find itself, and flow”

The river is not its banks, yet it requires them to be what it is.

In the same way, we are not our boundaries and yet our boundaries define who we are in the world of experience.

In spiritual growth there’s a lot of focus on connecting with your boundless ‘true’ nature, and that can be a wonderful thing.

The Non-Personal perspective, however, reminds you that there are many aspects of Self that go to make up our human experience. Including boundlessness AND the experience of everyday humanity.

It encourages you to receive the gift of wholeness which comes from noticing and honouring all their expressions.

A human life is full of contrasting experience. And boundaries can become a very important part of self care.

Life is full of contrasting experience and boundaries are a very important part of self care

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Historically I had no sense of personal boundaries. More of a puddle than a river. This was an expression of my identification with the idea that I didn’t matter. To assert boundaries would be an inconvenience to others.

I had a long spell of personal healing and deep emotional work, which did me a lot of good, but was underpinned with a philosophy that strongly identified Self with boundlessness… “I” still didn’t matter, after all “I” wasn’t real anyway… Just the illusion. So I still ran into all sorts of painful ‘boundary’ issues in my personal life.

Today, after 9 years of NPA, after 9 years of re-membering my WHOLE self… I am very clear on my boundaries. I’m very clear that I matter.

I am willing to be an inconvenience to the rock as I carve the valley, and leave my mark on the landscape.

The river of my life experience is clear and cherished and honoured for the path it takes.

The Universe, it seems, likes a test… and what happened this year certainly called me to back up those words with real-world action.

A Huge Act Of Self Love

No More!

As I said at the beginning, I reached my “NO MORE”… And this email is part of that… part of my prayer to the Universe that says I’m not going to be civilised, protective of the abuser or deny my instinctual need to roar… It’s the inconvenient truth, I’m finally willing to say.

I could go into to every sordid detail of what has happened. I’ve certainly written it all out a number of ways while composing this email, which while good therapy for me, does’t really serve you.

So I’m going to give you the bare-bones version and move onto how I chose to hold my boundary. Then I’ll share the key lesson I learned along the way, as best I understand it now, given that, in terms of the Anatomy of the Dark Night, I feel I’m still in stage 5 (Rebirth) and not quite fully in Stage 6 (Understanding).

So here goes… This is my “not keeping it quiet”… This is my NO MORE….

In the period from the end of December last year (2015), through to August this year (2016), my Ex engaged in behaviour that the police later described to me as “Very high on our own scale of harassment”

In a nutshell, she posted publicly on Facebook claiming I had “run off with another woman”, who she named… rallying a lot of support and bad feeling in my direction. What her Facebook friends (including 500 mutual friends, clients and customers) weren’t told, was that in the background she was sending streams of abusive, character assassinating texts and emails to me, and on several occasions sent unbelievably offensive emails direct to the person she considered ‘the other woman’.

The public posts happened after I had repeatedly asked her to stop, and when she hadn’t, I myself stopped responding… finally blocking her on every medium I could 8 months after it started. I guess she felt the public posts were her only route to continue her striking out.

In the end it has taken police intervention to bring it to a stop. And as you can probably guess, the police don’t get involved for just a few angry post-split interactions, which seem to be a normal, or at least common, part of the break up process in the digital age.

For the record, my Ex’s claim is not true, and she herself has told me face to face that she’s well aware that it is not.

The simple truth is, I left because of fundamental issues in our relationships with nobody else involved… I felt I had to leave because we had different dreams, different values and an unresolvable gap between the things that truly mattered to us.

Her justification, even to the police, was that she was hurt.

Feeling hurt when you break up is very understandable. But we all have choices about what we do with those feelings

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Feeling hurt when your partner of 6 years ends the relationship is very understandable. But we all have choices about what we do with those feelings.

And I had a very clear boundary around that:

While she is absolutely entitled to her feelings, she is definitely not entitled to slander or hurl abuse at me or anyone else she makes assumptions about.

I consider my life choices AFTER we split to be very much my choices to make. Very much my business and we were blocked from seeing each other others posts on all social media platforms from very early on… people block each other when they split, precisely to give each other space to move on… even so, it seems she saw them (there are always ways if you look hard enough) and took offence, as my posts were often the trigger.

I had repeatedly asked her to stop and she hadn’t. It just escalated. Which is why I felt compelled to go to the police for support.

Holding my boundary, even though it was repeatedly ignored was a huge act of self love for me. My urges to sacrifice myself in the name of being ‘loving’, ‘nice’ or ‘spiritually compassionate’ frequently vied to take the reigns. But I held my boundary.

Going to the police and actually asking for support was a huge act of self love. It took a LOT of focused, active self love, in spite of my mind demons telling me how pathetic it was of me, to go get backup and have my boundary honoured.

And sharing it now… here with you, is a huge act of self love, as I have learned the pain of silence in these matters, have a deep commitment to doing things differently, and again I have been faced with fears of your judgement…

But this time I have NPA…. Speaking of which…

What About Not Taking It Personally?

It’s a very fair question, given all that I teach, so let me explain:

NPA is definitely not about deleting all challenging life experiences, or the lessons and growth they bring. It’s certainly true that there are times when it will be within the Souls remit to simply have NPA end the suffering and for life to move on. However, there are also times when the Soul has a lesson plan and there’s be no avoiding it. In these cases I often see that NPA facilitates a clearer, suffering-reduced and often surprising route through the terrain.

There are times when your Soul has a lesson plan and there’s no avoiding it.

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The NPA I have done around this has enabled me to not take anybody’s response to me expressing this personally… so rather than being gagged, I can say what needs to be said in a way which is healing for me and hopefully offers some insight to you. NPA has enabled me to say what needs to be said regardless of what anyone else might make of it, regardless of any scary consequences that my mind would have me believe and in spite of my previous history.

As you are probably aware, these hugely significant life experiences can continue to be your teacher through life. Exposing ever deeper aspects of your shadow, and ultimately revealing ever brighter expressions of your light. That’s certainly been my experience.

Key Lesson

The key lesson for me is that sometimes holding a boundary meets huge resistance both internal and external. Holding the boundary regardless may rattle your world, but brings a deep inner resting, scatters the demons that have kept you small and builds a stable inner confidence that only comes from a bedrock of huge self love.

If you’re in a challenging boundary issue, the circumstances may be asking you:

• Do you love yourself enough to maintain your boundary in the face of the resistance?
• Are you willing to meet the fears and external pressures and still honour you?
• Are you willing to be an inconvenience?
• Are you ready to step openly into the world, as by holding a boundary you become very visible…
• Are you ready for the change that will bring?

I know there were two things I HAD to do before I could share all this. Firstly, I had to meet the ‘victim’ energy in me (I’ll cover this in a later post), and I had to NPA the heck out of all the responses I feared.

Just to be crystal clear, I’m not sharing this to illicit any kind of sympathy. I feel very empowered in relation to it now… though I couldn’t have said that in the midst of the dark night… I’m sharing it to honour myself, walk my talk and make a difference in the world.

And as ever I truly hope this inspires you to hold stronger boundaries, the willingness to speak up and ultimately continue to step more fully into beautiful you – especially should you experience any kind of abusive behaviour.

Get 1:1 support with Joel…

Kazy-Vincent Janes, a client from the UK said:

“A brilliant session and just perfect – thank you for amazing ability to hone and tune and hold and guide so superbly and uniquely for me”

CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO

 

An Offer Of Support:

As is often the way with therapists, facilitators and coaches I have helped countless clients who have experienced abusive situations find peace in their Souls, freedom from their past and a deep forgiveness they never thought possible. I also work with many people who suffer from the “I don’t matter syndrome” who tell me they come into a truly empowered place of loving and honouring themselves.

If YOU find you have difficulty with boundaries, you’re probably stuck in a rut and going nowhere… Maybe feeling worthless or trapped… Maybe finding you feel abused in some way…

If that’s your experience at all, I have to tell you, it is one of my passions to help people remember they matter.

And I’d love to help you uncover and honour your boundaries, discover your path and find your flow. Get you to a place where you’re carving your own valley and leaving YOUR mark on the landscape of your life.

Jx

PS If you find yourself judging what I have written as petty, unconscious, bitter or any such… Please ask yourself if you’ve ever DIRECTLY experienced this situation or are you coming from a conceptual notion of how you think someone OUGHT to deal with this, without any ACTUAL life experience of the situation? And if you think it’s ‘mean’ of me to ‘out’ my Ex in this way, I refer you back to how we are culturally pre-disposed to protect the abuser.

PPS. I’m aware that this blog is pretty raw, and may bring stuff up for you. So please know I am very open to feedback in the comments.

[JY-General-Bio]

 

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Anatomy of The Soul’s Dark Night

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anatomy-of-souls-the-dark-night

I have a deep Soul prayer for growth.

One of the biggest reasons I ended my 6 year relationship, was because of it.

I could feel that prayer like a low growl…

I imagine it like the kind of sound a flower might make, just as it prepares to crack open the bud.

I did all I felt I could to encourage the relationship to grow… to come with me… but it became clear to me that that wasn’t a possibility… not in the way that my growth was calling me.

Be Careful What You Wish For

There’s a saying: “Be careful what you wish for”… but I knew that.

The life of a growth seeking being is not about maintaining stability. It’s not about settling for ‘normal’. It’s rarely about security, striving for or subscribing to the known.

While these things things are welcomed as passing phases, growth requires chaos, destruction, dissolving, profound not-knowing.

A tree get’s its rings from seasonal growth cycles… In spring and summer it expands, which create its thick light rings. The thin dark rings come from autumn and winter, where the leaves have fallen and all appears dead. The energy of the tree comes inward, the growth appears to slow, and deep inner preparations are made for the coming spring.

I was under no illusion, that looking for growth would take me to my edges. After all, it’s only by going beyond your edges that you enter new territory.

Sometimes a deep Soul prayer will take you into a deep dark night

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Growth, of course, happens all the time. But sometimes a deep Soul prayer will take you into a deep dark night, and I have seen that there are specific qualities in that process which I would like to share with you here.

I must give credit to my colleague at The Inner Journey Clinic, Marion Young (no relation) who earlier this year helped me realise I was experiencing a dark night. It’s her framework (for the most part) I’m borrowing here… with my own twist and experience too.

So let’s look at the anatomy of the Soul’s dark night…

The 6 Stages of The Dark Night of The Soul

STAGE 1: A DEEP BREATH IN
Preceding the dark night, can be a spiritual high. A sense of completion, a break-through that appears to settle things. This could last for a while like a plateau of Graceful yumminess. But inevitably the Soul gets restless… And life usually presents a significant event which begins stage 2…

My Advice for Stage 1: Make the most of this time. On some level you’ve earned it – it’s blossoming time. Be available to the signs of winter coming if they do, but be present to the joy of now.

 

STAGE 2: THE FALL
The Fall is a crazy time. It can feel as if the rug has been pulled from under you. It’s a time where what has been known falls to pieces and there’s nothing to cling onto. Any attempts to maintain what has been can cause a great deal of pain and suffering… still it seems to be a natural human urge for us to try.

My Advice for Stage 2: As much as you can, embrace the fall. NPA can really help smooth the road here, as you let things go. In the same way that NPA has enabled some women to have swift and (in some cases) pain free child bird experiences, it can help you NOT cling and hold on as much – which is where the excess suffering can occur in this stage.

 

Learn How You Can Make Rapid Positive Shifts…

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STAGE 3: THE VOID
There comes a point where you realise there is nothing you can do. You are in the deepest darkness. During this stage there can be a loss of hope and trust, a sense of disillusionment. It’s a time where you (at a personality level) are choicelessly experiencing the deepest pain… the shadow. Feelings of shame, unworthiness, hatred (directed both inward and outward) can surface. And no matter what technique or approach you throw at it… any attempt to ‘fix’ it fails. This is a time of pure experience. Living through it is the only option.

My Advice for Stage 3: Give yourself FULL permission to be in it. Experience IS the point of this phase. You are literally LIVING the ‘stuff’ out. Reframing, processing, digging etc. can actually ADD suffering to the equation here. It IS really helpful however to get support from someone who can remind you to just be. A lot of times in my practice, my job is to remind people to stop and just be, rather than charging in with analysis and process work.

 

STAGE 4: DAWN BREAKS
At some point, seemingly by itself, the illusion collapses. Mercy steps in and cracks of light appear. This can happen without us immediately realising it, in the way that day can break while you’re still asleep. While there is a lightening, through this stage there remains exhaustion in the aftermath

My Advice for Stage 4: Engage in LOTS of self care and rest. The support of family and friends can be very important at this time. But come out slowly… don’t force your pace. A wise lizard knows not to go running straight out into the desert when its skin has shed. It waits for the expansion and some solidity in its new skin before venturing out.

 

STAGE 5: REBIRTH
Suddenly it IS time to emerge! An inner shift happens and your energy returns and it’s time to experience yourself anew in the world. It’s a time of discovery, where the impact of what has taken place can be determined and understood.

My Advice for Stage 5: This is very much another experiential stage, so again give yourself full permission to just live it. To make the most of this discovery stage, stay open. Resist the urge to label what you have become prematurely, as those labels can become limits. Give yourself space to ‘grow into it’

 

STAGE 6: UNDERSTANDING
Only once you have ‘lived’ the new you do you really understand the whole process. This is when you can begin to celebrate the process and truly appreciate the purpose and benefit of the experience.

My Advice for Stage 6: Let this understanding land in it’s own time. One of the things I see a lot with folk in the personal growth world is a rush to see the lesson in it all. In the dark night, necessarily, the earlier stages keep you ‘blind’ to the lesson, so give it time to ripen, and let it fall from the tree in its own time.

 

The Dark Night can be a tough time, full of confusion and lostness. You are meeting a fundamental aspect of your shadow, which ultimately grows you into something much greater.

I hope by laying out this map of the journey it helps you recognise if you (or someone you love) are in the process of the Dark Night of the Soul and you can move through it as resistance free as possible.

And, of course, I’m available for some 1:1 support…

Get 1:1 support with Joel…

Kazy-Vincent Janes, a client from the UK said:

“A brilliant session and just perfect – thank you for amazing ability to hone and tune and hold and guide so superbly and uniquely for me”

CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO

[JY-General-Bio]

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Squashed Tomatoes & Speedy Transitions

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SQUASHED TOMATOES & SPEEDY TRANSITIONS

Don’t apologise for using personal development tools, or the rapid shifts they bring…

This may seem like a strange thing to say, but here’s the thing…

I say all the time that NPA allows you to move through the challenges of life with tremendous speed and with relative ease.

This can be a challenge for people around you, if it doesn’t fit their expectations for what a ‘normal’ timescale is for such things.

Back in December of 2015, my 6 year relationship came to an end. This is a BIG deal in anyone’s life. There are cultural and habituated expectations about ‘taking time to heal’, ‘moving through the grief process’ and genuinely dealing with the pain of breakup.

But I did a LOT of NPA-ing

Using The Tools

I NPA’d around the grief, the lost dreams, the stories I had about what I wished she had been able to be, what I thought I should have been… Everywhere where there was pain lingering… Everywhere where my identity was tied to the relationship… Everywhere I felt conflicted, in spite of the clear truth that the decision was the right one.
I NPA’d my fears, my sadness AND what I wanted going forward.

It was amazing that after just a couple of weeks I felt incredibly clear, incredibly free and incredibly whole. I was ready to step out and discover myself anew.

What I didn’t expect was a backlash for doing just that.

Being happy, whole and vibrant ‘too soon’, it seemed was a crime.

Into the stocks with me, squashed tomatoes at the ready…

‘Insensitive’, ‘Unreal’, ‘Escapist’… these accusations came from various mutual friends of my X and mine.

Pause For Thought

I even got an unsolicited private message from a business coach who told me that my social media output, being ’too upbeat’ at this time was ‘Bad for business’! “People will see you as uncaring”, she said, “That could negatively effect your brand”. Now, I get that from her perspective, this was well intentioned… never-the-less, it really gave me pause for thought.

On one hand, she has a point.

As I’ve said, people can have a hard time if you step out of the box. It challenges their reality and they’d often much rather you get back in there. And if you don’t? They’ll likely find a way to put you back in… in their minds at least… labelled ‘uncaring’ for example. That can seem much easier to them than getting curious about a new possibility… and potentially rocking their world.

That may sound like I’m judging it, but actually I’m just stating an unfortunate truth about our society and culture in general today. The very one that the business coach was pointing to.

A Potent Question

But I asked myself a very potent question: “Do I want to align my energy with that thinking?”

The answer was a clear “No”

I replied to her that I taught tools that facilitated rapid change. More rapid than was normal. That that WAS my ‘brand’. I call myself a “21st Century Heretic” precisely because NPA challenges many of the modern day ’norms’.

What example would I be if I muted my living testament to that?
What integrity would I have?
What would I be teaching to those who decide to take full advantage of the tools I offer? That you can use them, but keep the results secret? Set yourself free with speed and ease, but hide the fact that you have?

It made no sense to do that.
It didn’t feel true.

It’s not that I’m devoid of compassion for other peoples pace, or that their perception and stories might cause them pain – quite the contrary. It’s just rare for anyone to leave their mark on the world and not offend anyone, right? And the best way to show the world a new possibility is to BE THAT, unashamedly.

Good Questions To Ask Yourself

So, here’s some good questions to ask yourself…

  • Do you limit your enthusiasm, your happiness or your wholeness to make those around you feel more comfortable?
  • Do you hide away the inner work you do, for fear of ridicule or change?
  • Do you shy away from inner work, or resist its impact because it might challenge the status quo?
  • Do you choose to align with limited ideas and possibilities, when inside you’re crying to step into your power?

If you do any of these, then start with some self-forgiveness… there’s a LOT of social pressure in there, and courage takes practice. Then you can look at, and shift, whatever is holding the pattern in place.

One great way to use NPA in this situation, is took look at what you fear other people might say? And what resistances and challenging emotions come up in you? Find some Cookie Cutters and NPA them… The revolutionary road could be smoother than you think.

Learn How You Can Make Rapid Positive Shifts…

NPA Basic Training - Start Here“This video programme will walk you step by step through the core training of The NPA Process and give you what you need to get started making a difference in your life right away with NPA.”

CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO

I was tempted by the resistance to mute myself, but I got the lesson.

Make No Apology

I make no apology for the fact that I am committed to using the tools I have.
I make no apology for the fact that NPA moved me through the pain of the break up faster than seemed ‘normal’ to some people.

I heartily encourage you to make no apology for your wonderful growth either. Stand in the glory of beautiful, exceptional you and you will be showing the world there’s a kinder, freer path available.

Life is short.
Who does it serve to play down your wholeness?
If you can save yourself months, even years, of suffering then why wouldn’t you?

[JY-General-Bio]

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Why Conscious Participation Is Not Always Necessary For Healing

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Why Conscious Parenting Is NOT Always NecessaryIn this short audio with Joel Young, The Creator of The NPA Process, you will discover how the requirement for personal involvement in your healing journey has dramatically changed since the background shift in consciousness has matured over the past few years…

Joel explains…

  • The historic culture of personal involvement
  • How things are different since the recent shift
  • Why purpose is context specific on the healing path
  • Discernment between option and need
  • How one lady went from flustered stuttering to clear expression in 30 seconds
  • How shifting consciousness automatically shifts emotional states, limiting beliefs and unhealthy behaviours
  • When conscious participation IS necessary
  • What love’s got to do with it

Time investment: 6.5 minutes

Why Conscious Participation Is Not Always Necessary For Healing

 

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Healing Without The History

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HealingWithoutTheHistory300x300In this Musing on NPA & Life, I’m going to let you know why the story that we need to re-write our personal history in order to heal isn’t necessarily true, and how NPA can help you find your natural path to healing; whatever that may be.

The Definitive Position

There are lots of ‘stories’ flying around in the world of human transformation, positive thinking and healing that are presented as ‘the definite position’. One of the reasons I sometimes refer to myself as a ’21st Century Heretic’ is that I like to examine this new doctrine, with an intention of promoting a perspective of unlimited possibility, co-creation and ongoing evolution.

Most of these ‘definitive positions’ are taken because of an experience of things working that way. So there IS an element of truth to them.

THE Way To Heal

Let’s take our topic-du-jour – healing. It would be true to say that many people have had tremendous success in healing by addressing their issues through following this idea:

“It took root as the result of something in my past, so if I can access whatever set things up this way and change the settings to something better, then I will heal”

The journey to your past can be fun. It can give the mind a recognisable, reason based and understandable story about what caused things to be as they are. It can also help relax the mind about the changes that are be-coming. It can be juicy and it scratches the itch of ‘why?’

This can be a great thing and certainly, in some cases, it’s A good way. But the leap from A WAY to THE WAY can be a trip to limitation and, perhaps even denial of an altogether simpler way.

The leap from A WAY to THE WAY can be a trip to limitation

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Infinite Possibilities

The reality is that people all over the world are experiencing healing in a million different ways, with most of them not necessarily linking their healing to their past, or changing their thoughts, feelings or beliefs about their ‘history’ in any way.

I like to think that this demonstrates the kindness and flexibility of The Universe in how it answers our prayers – not just for healing, but for the journey of healing that will suit us best.

The reality is that people all over the world are experiencing healing in a million different ways

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NPA is just a few simple words; six simple lines. Sometimes you don’t feel a thing. Sometimes you do.

It doesn’t lead you to some place ‘not here’ that you need to get to, in order to meet an idea of what it takes to heal. For example, you are not required to go to the past if that’s not where you’re hanging out naturally. You’re not required to determine ‘how that makes you feel’ if your natural expression is not emotional. You are not required to figure out what you would have to believe in order to feel this way if you ARE experiencing emotions! NPA simply meets you where you are.

LandingLights300x300NPA has shown me time and again that spontaneous healings can just sort of happen.

And what I have seen much more often with NPA is that it works with our humanity. It honours our longing for the story of our lives. It respects our minds’ childlike need for understanding and opens the way for the most appropriate mechanism to show itself.

You could say that NPA turns on the landing lights for your dreams and prayers. It makes the path that suits you best really clear, and facilitates a nice soft landing.

Life Has Space To Answer

That might be a spontaneous healing. Or it might be that you suddenly feel inspired to have a session in another healing modality – one that uses physical touch, or one that works with your thoughts or emotions – or perhaps even one that addresses the past!

Whatever it is, I often hear that the path is made clear, automatic even and that it runs smooth. Life has space to answer, and to answer in ways that work easily, naturally & sustainably for you.

With all these conflicting definitive positions flying around which tell you with conviction what is required for you to heal can get confusing. So, it’s a wonderful thing to have NPA as A way to help your most natural healing path show itself to you. :0)

[JY-General-Bio]

More Tweetables:

“NPA has shown me time & again that spontaneous healings can just sort of happen” via @JoelYoungNPA

“It’s a wonderful thing to have NPA as A way to help your most natural healing path show itself to you” via @JoelYoungNPA

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The Cripple & The Chrysalis (A True Story)

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The Cripple & The ChrysalisI recently had the privilege of witnessing an awesome moment in Nature and, as Nature often does, it blew me away.

It wasn’t just the pure aesthetic beauty; it wasn’t just the drama of an epic struggle; and it wasn’t just the bitter-sweet sadness inherent in the spectacle that moved me to share it.

There was also a Divine reflection, a lesson you might say, on our ideas around success and failure in transformation, and it was that that had me heading for my keyboard to share it here with you…

Inspiration On The Garden Pond

Emperor DragonlyIt’s not something you see everyday, and especially when you happen to have your camera in your hand! This Emperor Dragonfly shows some seriously impressive perseverance to emerge from it’s larval moult. The larva spends a couple of years under water, feeding, shedding it’s skin and growing before it crawls up out of the water. Clinging to a reed, it dries and undergoes it’s emergence as a stunningly beautiful and devastatingly effective airborne hunter.

The emergence normally takes 1-3 hours, but I watched this mighty individual birthing itself, against the odds, over a 48hr period.

The Cripple And The Chrysalis*

Herculean Emperor DragonlySo what could cause such a long emergence?

Well, unfortunately it’s wings were stuck and for a full day it hung from the husk of it’s exuvia (the hardened shell of the larva). In that day the body and the exposed wings become engorged, and by nightfall it had fallen still. I was pretty sure it was dead but to my great surprise and delight, the next day I came out to find it had managed to grasp another reed and is pulling with all it’s might.

Amazingly I am there at the moment it pulls itself free. There’s an audible snap as the restraining fibril breaks and the heroic Hawker scurries to the top of the reed.

Up to this point, having never seen this process before, I expect to see the wings open and expand. However I quickly realise that they have set, are crippled and will never serve as mechanisms of flight.

Emperor Dragonly with Crippled WingsPerhaps it’s my imagination, but I get the sense that it realises this too.

Nevertheless, it experienced several hours of life as a flightless Dragonfly. I like to think it surrendered, basked in the sunshine, took in the view and reflected on it’s time above the waterline. In any case, at some point it’s spirit left it’s body, which I found laying lifeless on a lilly pad later that evening.

Transformational Success & Failure?

In spite of it’s disability and short life this brave and determined individual was deeply admired and certainly left an impact.

Healthy Emperor DragonflyWho is to say what is success and what is failure? You never know who or what you are inspiring in anything you do – regardless of the outcome.

A short while after, a healthy brother flew in, so you & I can see the wings he imagined, to share his vision and know that life as it was imagined exists somewhere.

If you have ideas of success and failure in the realm of your transformation, I invite you to let them go and be present to the beauty and inspiration of what is.

Namaste ♥

*OK insect nerds (I include myself here), I know that Dragonflies don’t do chrysalis and I’m hoping your natural appreciation for beauty will enable you to forgive the poetic licence 😉

[JY-General-Bio]

Tweetables

“Who is to say what is success and what is failure?” via @JoelYoungNPA

“You never know who or what you are inspiring in anything you do – regardless of the outcome” via @JoelYoungNPA

“Know that life as you imagine it exists somewhere” via @JoelYoungNPA

“If you have ideas of success and failure in the realm of your transformation, let them go” via @JoelYoungNPA

“Let go and be present to the beauty and inspiration of what is” via @JoelYoungNPA

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